As I sat across from my friend Shelly at the Bayou in Salt Lake City, I began explaining to her how easy it is to reject someone or give someone some bad news about themselves. She was having the most difficult time breaking up with a guy that was so clearly not right for her, because she “didn’t want to hurt his feelings.” Maybe it’s because I’m jaded or maybe it’s just because I’ve had to explain to too many women in my life “why they aren’t the one” that this method just developed naturally for me, but after talking with Shelly, I figured I’d share it with all my friends in hopes that it might help others out there needing some help delivering bad news. The Sandwich Method (a Kevin Burdick original) – This is my method of delivering bad news, breaking up with a girl, or genuinely being an ass without actually being an ass. It is the perfect delivery for news that is hard to deliver to a boyfriend, co-worker, or family member. The Sandwich Method includes two nice fluffy pieced of white bread (metaphorically speaking) and a big slab of greasy meat in the middle. When delivering criticism using the sandwich method, your employer might try this:
Bread Piece 1 (Positive): You are a great person Steve. Well liked by all your co-workers and a really hard worker.
Meat Hunk (Negative): But to be honest with you, some of your co-workers have started complaining that you smell a little weird, kind of like a dirty baby’s diaper or a monkey’s armpit – I am going to have to ask you to get some cologne and work a little harder on that in these close quarters we’re in.
Bread Piece 2 (Positive): Don’t take this personally, like I said, everyone here likes you a lot. You’re the hardest worker on the team, an enormous asset to the company, and the guy here with the biggest heart. No one will even remember this in a few weeks.
Bread Piece 1 (Positive): Look Jane. You are a beautiful girl, sexy, intelligent, and funny. Everyone knows that.
Meat Hunk (Negative): I have to be honest with you though, you aren’t the girl I’m looking for and I don’t want to sit here and try to change you into someone else. You deserve to have someone looking for your qualities – I need someone who is less controlling, somewhat mentally and emotionally stable, and someone who allows me more independence.
Bread Piece 2 (Positive): I know there is someone out there who is going to fit better with you and who will gel with you. I’m sorry it’s not me, but knowing all of your incredible qualities I am confident that your dream guy is still out there – you just need to go out and find him.
The Sandwich method of delivering tough news is good for almost anything. Feel free to adapt it to your own tastes – maybe you like mustard on your sandwich or maybe you like your sandwich with smaller pieces of bread. Regardless, a sandwich just isn’t a sandwich without a little bread – so soften the blow with a little bit of positive before and after your bad news. Hope this helps!!
